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4 Diversions To Scare Off Looters And Burglars

You know the classic “Looters will be shot” warnings written on American Patriots` walls every time a major disaster strikes. Well, here`s the problem: they`re so popular, everyone`s using them to scare off looters. And looters… well, they`re not so scared anymore. They call bluff.

So what do you do when a looter or a burglar ignores all warnings (if there are any) and breaks into your home at night, while you`re sleeping? If a shotgun crossed your mind, I suggest you leave it for a worst-case-scenario. If nothing else works, pulling out a shotgun can be the only solution. But as long as you can avoid a direct confrontation, I suggest you postpone this moment as much as you can. When shotguns are involved, things can get out of hand easily and people may get hurt. People such as yourself or your family.

So if you want to protect yourself and the ones you love, make sure you`ve exhausted all other options first. Here are 4 to begin with:

#1: Really loud music

If you want to scare off a burglar or a looter without even getting out of bed, here`s what you need to do. Leave a CD with noisy music in your stereo. The choice is all yours: rock, opera, the stuff kids dance to nowadays… anything that can scare a cat dozing off near the stereo is perfect.

When you hear the intruder rummaging through your stuff, use the remote control to play the CD. Make sure the volume is always set to the maximum. When the music starts roaring all of the sudden, that poor bastard will have the surprise of his life: he`ll either run away like chased by rabid dogs.. or he`ll have a heart attack. Or he`ll be so scared, he`ll call the police himself. Just recently I read in the news that a burglar was “doing a house” and the family cat started meowing and hissing. The guy had no idea where the sounds came from as the lights were all out, so he hid under the bed and called 911. I laughed my heart out when I read it.

Now on a more serious note, here`s something you should take into consideration: before you play your CD out of the blue, warn your family first if you can. The burglar may get scared like hell, but so will your kids if they don`t know what`s happening.

#2: Lights

You`re going to need a remote control for that, as well. Now, I know those systems are usually expensive, but you don`t need more than one remote controlled light in the hallway or the living room. A good electrician can improvise a system for you and you won`t have to pay through the nose. I hired my neighbor`s whiz kid to put together a sensor system that I can control straight from my computer. Works like magic.

Now here`s how it works: the looter comes in, you wait for a few minutes (otherwise he might think the lights are automatic) and then turn on the lights on the hallway or in the next room. Don`t turn on the lights in the room he`s in. He`ll notice there`s no one there.

This is a rather mild scare tactic and it may not make the looter or burglar trip while running his way out. However, mix this method with #1 and you`ve got a real horrorshow that will give him nightmares for months to go.

#3: Foul smells

You know those smelly “bombs” some kids use to stink up the gym, so they can skip school? The smell is vicious, but if you open a couple windows and use some odorant, the room will smell like flowers and fresh air in no time. It`s completely reversible, so you don`t need to worry you`ll have to flee your house afterwards.

I got this idea from a forum where a mother and her two kids told this amazing story of how they forced a burglar out of their home using stink bombs. The kids came up with the idea, they sneaked outside and threw the bombs through the window the burglar had broken himself. I found it brilliant. The guy didn`t even know what hit him. But the smell was so foul, he was forced to leave.

Next morning, the smell was gone.

#4: Recorded voices

This one is a classic, but it can work if used right. Here`s how you should do this:

Record a conversation with a few male friends, as if you`d suspect a burglar is in your house. For example, “Hey, did you hear anything?” “Yeah, I can hear something in the living room” “Well, that`s not right… Who could be there this time at night?” “Wait, I`ll get my shotgun and we`ll go check it out”.

The more voices you can hear on the tape, the better. But don`t go over the tops: 3-4 different voices are enough to scare off any looter. Don`t record a conversation with 7 of your friends. It`s suspicious.

When you hear someone break into your house, play the conversation loudly in your room, as if you`d all be there, behind the closed door, talking angrily about the intruder. The moment one of you says “shotgun” is probably the last one that looter spends in your home.

Now, I know these methods may seem a bit childish, but they`ve worked before. And, after all, why not give it a try? You might find an amusing way of getting rid of looters and burglars, without risking your family`s life.

By Alec Deacon

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